Listening is a lost art.  As a society, we are spending so much time talking–virtually or verbally–that we really are not listening very well.  Listening is the source of learning, discovery, understanding, and enlightenment.  If you are spending your time listening in order to get ready to tell, prove your point, argue, disagree, sell, or promote, you are not listening.

There are two keys to effective listening.  (Think about these before you start to agree or disagree.)

1. Not “Listening to…”: Our listening often involves listening to: who is talking; whether I am going to agree, disagree, like it or not like it; where I can chime in and make my contribution.   This is not effective listening.  This is effective interrupting.  You are simply mentally interrupting their thoughts, ideas, and expressions as you wait for an opportunity to actually interrupt.  You cannot possibly listen to learn if you are listening to interrupt.
2. “Listening for …”: Effective listening involves listening to what the other person is discussing and listening for the opportunity that emanates from their thoughts, ideas, and suggestions.  Simply dismissing what they are talking about because you may not like what you hear is not creating opportunity.  Creating opportunity in your listening is accepting their perspectives as valid from where they sit and listening for an opportunity to discover the opportunities from your respective viewpoints.  This requires attentive and active listening regardless of who is talking and what they are saying.

The art of listening involves engaging in actively hearing, not interrupting the conversation or discounting the thought, idea, perspective or suggestion. When you listen for the opportunity, you will create a more effective engagement, relationship and outcome.  Put real listening  to work, you will be amazed at the results.