I was attracted to a blog topic this morning about the fact that “we don’t live in a world of should”. When I read this blog, I felt that there was more potential in developing that concept. As a results oriented person, “should” is a word I work very hard at keeping out of my vocabulary. As Lance Haun says in his blog, “do or do not. There is no try.” I couldn’t agree more. With “should”, it goes deeper than that.
When we use the word should, we are recognizing a need to do something. By using “should”, it is as if someone else is responsible for taking action. I don’t buy that. If you observe a “should” you have now become accountable for being part of the action to change it. If you believe someone “should” dress differently, communicate better, treat people better, work harder, or raise the quality of their work, you have simply passed judgement. I do not have time for judgement related observations, I am too focused on results. If it is important enough for you to pass judgement, you are now accountable for taking action. As the person who identifies a need, you now need to take action to fix, correct or improve it. If you are not willing to create change or help make improvements to a situation, take the “should” commentary out of your vocabulary and stop passing judgement. Listen to yourself when you use the word “should”. My bet is that it is often linked to what you think someone else needs to be doing.
Why don’t you simply replace that “should” with the word “need”. Need is more action oriented. When you determine a need for someone, they cannot get there without your coaching or insight. “Need” has a hint of accountability and it certainly is not judgemental. Think about it.