When it comes to listening, everyone talks about it, I wonder how many people really understand it.

In sales school, people discuss listening as a step in the process.  In far too many training programs, listening is merely part of the process  of discovering what prospects need so you can sell them something.  The minute you find out what they need, you are now free to introduce your solution and begin advocating why you have the answer.

There is something about listening in these training programs that emphasizes or encourages a selfish behavior of listening to sell, not listening for the opportunity to really help.  Sales school listening only requires the sales professional listen long enough to discover something that is in it for them.  This is not effective relationship development.  It is a tactic, disguised as a behavior, to selfishly get somewhere.

In the matrix to the right, true listening is selfless listening.  Selfless listening is a behavioral commitment that you are meeting with someone to discover: what they need, why they need it, what is getting in the way, and what solving that problem will enable them to accomplish.  Included in this learning process is understanding the frustrations and challenges they have faced along the way in their attempts to get there.  Selfless listening includes an empathetic engagement on the part of the sales professional.

Until the you have made a sincere commitment to listen to the issue and to understand their frustrations, their risks and their fear you are really not in a position to offer suggestions, insights, advice or solutions.  You have not yet earned the right.

True relationships, at its core, are selfless.  Your best friends are people who would do anything for their you.  Your best business contacts are always finding a discovering ways for you to be successful.  To be of true and sincere value to your customers, what’s in it for you cannot be their most important motivation.

Next time you go into that sales meeting, start working on figuring out how to be a committed resource to help others solve their problems.  Taking the time to selflessly listen builds strong relationships, provides tremendous levels of influence and credibility, and will help you accomplish your growth objectives in a more genuine and effective manner.