I caught a recent video of Simon & Garfunkel singing their masterpiece song, “Sounds of Silence.” And the powerful words just jumped out at me. This is probably one of my absolute favorite lyrics in a song. Amazing that a song written over 40 years ago still resonates.
“people talking without speaking, people hearing without listening…hear my words that I might teach you, take my arms that I might reach you…but my words, like silent raindrops fell”
In a country desperately looking for its voice, these words eminate so powerfully. In a nation so desperate to be heard, I am amazed at the willful, inability of its people to come together in one voice. While everyone has different levels of pain and a diversity of opinions, we can all agree that there are issues in our nation that require change. Unfortunately we are more focused on what we think is the right solution based on our narrow, proprietary view and less on how we can agree on what is wrong and collaborate to find a solution.
The key to resolving any problem is taking personal ownership for learning and understanding from all perspectives the issue, first. Only through a broad understanding of the issues and an appreciation of all perspectives can we begin to collaborate the discovery of a solution. The key to providing leadership in solving any issue is a willingness to listen, learn, and compromise. Collaboration and compromise require the open sharing of ideas to find common ground, not the forceful defense of an idea that few can agree to.
Next time you are in a situation where there is disagreement, avoid the temptation to declare what is right. First, work on finding the common ground that defines what everyone can agree on. Then, using an open and collaborative approach discuss the open issues that are causing the conflict and solve for those issues.
Being right is only valuable if you are king; then it doesn’t matter what the problem is. When in an environment that respects the free sharing of ideas and values, conflict can only be resolved through effective communication skills like listening, learning, understanding and collaborating.
As a free, powerful,and educated nation, we could find our one voice. However, it will take the willingness of many to let everyone’s voice be heard before we decide what is right, not who is right. Set an example and look for the solution and avoid the temptation to take a stand on the premise that you are right. What if you’re not?
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This is the whole “winning the battle but losing the war” problem – especially in sales if you work so hard to prove yourself as the right solution instead of proving the customer’s needs are met by your solution then you are missing the boat. You aren’t right until they have their problem solved.
Correct. That is why the issue of overcoming objections is overblown. When your solution meets their needs and the customer sees it and understands it, there are no objections. There are only objections when your answer does not solve their question.